I penned that line in reference to my then two-year old play-walking with my Mom's cane. As a freshman in college my mother's death...let alone mine...was almost unfathomable.
In 1999 Mom passed, weeks before I graduated WKU. In 2017, I was diagnosed with COPD and with an immunodeficiency disorder. In 2022 and 2023 I was diagnosed with colon cancer. In the middle of that was COVID. When I look back now, seeing tragedies stacked upon one another, I have to hug myself and wonder about MY own fragility.
I am alone, going on 7 years without a partner or someone to share the thrilling to the mundane with, but I learned long ago to rise far above circumstances and personalities. I learned, still in diapers, to make my adventures. It isn't a life many might have chosen, but then again; I was sharpened into a weapon by people and circumstance and genetics and I have the soul of a pacifist.
My body may defy me one day, but today I am riding the wave of a bicentennial of lessons learned, insights regarded and loves that--while over--produced something in me (in spite of or despite of?) as beautiful as a pearl necklas on a Phoenix...ground into beauty and wearing fire like a badge. Then I would topple the water tower over to extinguish the flames for my fire mates and write policy to prevent catching birds on fire...taking lil girls' innocence...and all the evil, strife and wandering around in the dark that goes on.
I just want to love humans back to life...I can't always, but every one I have had to move on from to save myself felt like the worst kinda betrayal and injustice by me. I loved a man with borderline personality disorder/PTSD once. He was oblivious to the pain he caused or his responsibility in any bad thing that went down.
I loved myself in his reflection. He was the man in the hole; I jumped in with him to save him (see I knew the way out). But I only lost me and reverted to my own maladaptive coping mechanisms of yore.
I said all that to say...yes, I may be getting fragile physically, but spiritually, emotionally, socially and intellectually I could run a marathon.
Several new projects in the works:
Continuing work on my narrative autobiography, which may be a trilogy by its ending. (Due 2025)
Italian family tree YouTube interviews of my immigrant family (Due August 2024)
Izzys American Females: A Coffee Table Book (Tbd)
Confessions, Prayers, & Decrees--Scriptures transformed into conversation starters with God (tbd)
As always, answering calls for papers, essays, and poetry and freelancing content, news and entertainment.